It's the little things that make you smile

Last weekend I was browsing at my local pirated electronic media outlet and I laughed out loud when I spotted "Team America" sitting on a shelf right in the middle of the section for cartoon and Disney DVDs.

I'm guessing that the staff member responsible for stock display in this retail outlet had not viewed the movie (or even taken a close look at the DVD cover), since, despite being a most enjoyable movie, Team America (from the creators of South Park) may not be entirely suited to viewing by the kiddies, thanks to it's "R" rating and the accompanying warning -

"Graphic, crude and sexual humor, violent images and strong language; all involving puppets"

Two Sides To Every Story

I was out of town recently so couldn't attend a meeting that had been arranged with Indonesian executives from an international consulting firm that provides us with information on a regular basis. We'd called the meeting to seek clarification on some of the data they supply us. Another expat and one of our local managers attended the meeting in my absence.

Upon my return I separately asked the expat and the local manager how the meeting went. The responses were as follows:

Expat - "Mate, they were unable to answer any of our questions. They had absolutely no idea how the data they give us is derived"

Local - "Pak, the meeting was very worthwhile. The consultants were able to give us a lot of useful information"

And that's the way it is.

By my calculations, this dude should get 970 years

Most readers will be aware that an ample breasted Australian woman is imprisoned in Bali for 20 years after being convicted of attempting to smuggle 4.1kg (9lbs) of wacky weed into Indonesia. My personal view is that she is guilty, but that's not relevant to this article.

This week the Jakarta Post reported that a member of the Indonesian Marine Corps was caught red handed by Police with 199 kilograms (440 pounds) of grass in his car, close to the Marine compound at Cilandak, South Jakarta. This soldier, a native of Aceh, on the very western tip of Indonesia, on the island of Sumatra, reportedly bought the load of hooch in his hometown for Rp.300,000 per kilo (less than $1.00 an ounce), and drove for several days from Aceh to Jakarta, which also involved a boat trip from Lampung to Banten in order to cross from Sumatra to the island of Java.

One of the more ridiculous aspects of this case is the fact that the police estimate the street value of the 199 kgs of ganja to be Rp.360m, or just over $36,000. If that's the case, Schapelle's load of grass would only be worth a measly $800, which is hardly enough to risk being stood against a wall for target practice at sunrise.

So, with 199 kilos of dope in his possession, by my calculations our Marine Corp villain should be sentenced to somewhere around 970 years in prison.

Leg man or arse man?

As reported in the media and by my esteemed blogging colleagues recently, an "anti pornography" Bill that was first submitted to the House of Representatives in 1992 has been resurrected and reported to be currently under deliberation by the House.

Today's Jakarta Post discusses some of the detail of the Bill -

Article 79 of the bill mandates a Rp 200 million fine and a minimal jail
term of two years for "showing off sensual parts of the female body", which
include thighs, hips, breasts and navel.

I'm no lawyer, nor do I play one on TV, but my reading of the above suggests that arses may be exempt, which means that skin tight jeans may well remain the default attire of Jakartan women between the ages of 16 and 40.

If you live in the western suburbs of Jakarta and are a leg man or a Japanese visitor with an eye for high school girls in short skirts, you will also out of luck soon, following the Mayor of Tangerang's proposed regulation banning skirts that show knee or thigh.

And, you better stock up on porn DVDs before all the roadside sellers are locked up as well.